Mumbai: In an interview with the RawStraw Newsportal, the Censor Board Chief expressed grave concern over the severe drought of item song numbers in the mainstream Hindi films for the year 2016-17. Elucidating the reasons for his concern, the Censor Chief blamed the rise of misguided intimacies and unnatural relationships as being a direct result of the decline of the Indian Item song numbers.
“You have to see the importance of the item songs in our cinema, it may look dirty and vulgar like keechar but Kamal toh keechar main hi khilta hai”, the Censor Chief declared impishly “the item song is a necessary evil, it channelizes the desires of men towards women and cancels out every homogenizing uncertainty.”
On being asked whether he supports the shameless objectification of women in Item Songs, Chief got visibly livid and retorted “It does not objectify all women, only certain types of women who are happily willing to objectify themselves and what is wrong with that. A bitter pill must be swallowed if the larger evil has to be defeated. And it also needs to be pointed out that the objectification of women is not pornographic, it is merely in a teasing sort of manner. And teasing is a part of our culture, our very own Indian Cheed-Chaad Parampara.”
During the interview, the Censor Chief refused to explain what he meant by “Unnaturalness”, “homogenizing uncertainties” and “larger evil”. The interview was brought to an abrupt halt when one of our reporters enquired the chief about the names of his favorite item songs that channelizes his fossilized libido levels. It seems that our Censor Board Chief is really a very private and closet-ed sort of gentleman who does not believe in sharing his favorite item songs playlist.